I was on a coaches panel for some grad students from different universities and majors. Yes we talked about abuse, growth mindset, learning/training styles, and other pertinent topics for young coaches. The things I spoke on about that made others squirm was conflict and "I don't know". We're so used to having solutions and answers because technology exists to provide us with a meaningful way to search for them. But there are things like conflict and the response "I don't know" that cause people to become uncomfortable.
Conflict isn't all bad. In fact, many a team breakthrough has come about because there was a conflict that was resolved in some way whether partly or fully. This notion that every successful team is sunshine and rainbows all the time is ludicrous. You cannot grow if you are always content with conditions. If you seek to improve by as much as 1% you should be looking to change something. Conflict is good when we're invested in the outcome. If we're making a conscious choice to do something we're more likely to follow through. One of my irritations is someone lamenting the sacrifice they're making to be here yada, yada. No, choose to be somewhere and do something to improve your condition.
We talked about different ways to resolve conflict and I told my past and recent stories about conflict, and how I ultimately lost my job at Seattle University. As a personal note, there was a lot of anger, and hurt surrounding this event in my career, but after therapy and big feelings, I am able to talk about it with others. I'm proud of my growth here although there are times, where I wish I was still coaching. (a post for another day perhaps)
It was nice segue into the anxiety surrounding the response, "I don't know". It makes people uncomfortable because the response reminds us that we're fallible humans trying to exist. Reasons we answer this way: I don't have enough data, I don't know how to read the data, The data is creating some dissonance, and my favorite, data what data? (BTW I love Brent Spiner!)
It's okay to not have an opinion on something when you don't have enough information or background. Work with people that are okay with that answer, but who also help you resolve some of the above reasons why we don't know something. Coaching/Teaching is about learning. The learning takes place for both the teacher and learner. I think that maybe one of my more endearing qualities as a coach. I'm not an insufferable know-it-all, my job is to teach, and to be good at teaching, I have to keep learning. You will work many problems as a coach. Some of those solutions will be easy to implement and some will elude you three or four recruiting classes in. Keep the lines open with your team, staff, and administration so you get the time to figure it out.
Coaching is a rough job because you are not guaranteed any amount of time to solve the problems that need solving. Surround yourself with people that are open to learning and as long as you are too, things will be okay. But I cannot guarantee your administration will give you the time to fix anything so take it easy on yourself. You can't control that.
