I Don't Know

I was on a coaches panel for some grad students from different universities and majors. Yes we talked about abuse, growth mindset, learning/training styles, and other pertinent topics for young coaches. The things I spoke on about that made others squirm was conflict and "I don't know". We're so used to having solutions and answers because technology exists to provide us with a meaningful way to search for them. But there are things like conflict and the response "I don't know" that cause people to become uncomfortable.

Conflict isn't all bad. In fact, many a team breakthrough has come about because there was a conflict that was resolved in some way whether partly or fully. This notion that every successful team is sunshine and rainbows all the time is ludicrous. You cannot grow if you are always content with conditions. If you seek to improve by as much as 1% you should be looking to change something. Conflict is good when we're invested in the outcome. If we're making a conscious choice to do something we're more likely to follow through. One of my irritations is someone lamenting the sacrifice they're making to be here yada, yada. No, choose to be somewhere and do something to improve your condition. 

We talked about different ways to resolve conflict and I told my past and recent stories about conflict, and how I ultimately lost my job at Seattle University. As a personal note, there was a lot of anger, and hurt surrounding this event in my career, but after therapy and big feelings, I am able to talk about it with others. I'm proud of my growth here although there are times, where I wish I was still coaching. (a post for another day perhaps)

It was nice segue into the anxiety surrounding the response, "I don't know". It makes people uncomfortable because the response reminds us that we're fallible humans trying to exist. Reasons we answer this way: I don't have enough data, I don't know how to read the data, The data is creating some dissonance, and my favorite, data what data? (BTW I love Brent Spiner!)

It's okay to not have an opinion on something when you don't have enough information or background. Work with people that are okay with that answer, but who also help you resolve some of the above reasons why we don't know something. Coaching/Teaching is about learning. The learning takes place for both the teacher and learner. I think that maybe one of my more endearing qualities as a coach. I'm not an insufferable know-it-all, my job is to teach, and to be good at teaching, I have to keep learning. You will work many problems as a coach. Some of those solutions will be easy to implement and some will elude you three or four recruiting classes in. Keep the lines open with your team, staff, and administration so you get the time to figure it out. 

Coaching is a rough job because you are not guaranteed any amount of time to solve the problems that need solving. Surround yourself with people that are open to learning and as long as you are too, things will be okay. But I cannot guarantee your administration will give you the time to fix anything so take it easy on yourself. You can't control that.

Tinker Mode

I think the best way to learn is by doing for me at least. I don't have an affinity for large broken things like cars and motorcycles, but small broken things intrigue me. I started taking stuff apart as a kid as a way for me to "help" my dad around the house. I was plenty good at breaking stuff, I'm clumsy, so I think my dad thought it would be a good idea to let me tag a long and learn how to fix stuff since it was bound to break in my hands. It started with fetching tools and parts. I learned their names and what they were for. Then the fun part, dismantle the thing, find the failure, fix the failure, and put it back together. 

The first couple of times on my own I would have parts leftover, strip threads or lose a bolt. Over time, I got better at it. I still occasionally break a tab or lose a screw. I learned a little downward pressure while turning can help loosen an overtightened screw. If you use a sharpie or tape you can keep track of which screws go where. Some of my favorite things to find and fix are watches, pocket knives, pens, cameras, sewing machines, and vacuum cleaners. I dabble in mending fabric of all sorts, camping gear, and bicycles. 

There are so many resources available to us, there's really no excuse to not try to fix things on your own. Give it a go and don't be afraid to suck, as with any skill, you'll get better at it with practice. It's bloody hot out there, stay hydrated.

For the love of spiders

Why are spiders so maligned? I believe they deserve our reverence, and we should not be so quick to squash them or shoo them away. They control pests and are some of nature's best builders. I'm not sure if there is already an analogy for this but hear me out. A spider hears and sees all yet never tells a soul. They live in places where they are rarely seen or heard. But you know they're around by their webs and possibly a dead one occasionally. A spider will rebuild a web after a hand, foot, or unwilling face demolishes it. Over and over it rebuilds, it may adapt and build that web in a corner or out of the path of destruction. Spiders scare some people. There isn't anything wrong with that, but why do they scare people?

If anything spiders embody a spirit that can be characterized as resilient, efficient, and clever. They don't care if you are scared of them, they are going to keep building that web and existing in your spaces without apology and without shame. Sounds like a great way of being to emulate. I feel like a spider sometimes. I know my presence in some spaces makes people uneasy because I don't talk very much. I like to observe before jumping into the conversation. I need to know if the vibes I'm getting are authentic. I need to know if I do or say something you find odd if you'll shoo me away or squash me when I am no longer useful.

Why Let Your Athletes Protest?

Being a collegiate athlete at any level affords student athletes some privilege and notoriety. I wish more college coaches would encourage students to participate in campus protests to bring attention to community and national issues if students feel strongly about the issue. If your team culture is healthy, then it would be a natural progression in terms of what your teams do as a part of their culture. It puts critical thinking and informed presence up front.

If we're committed building teams and community, it makes sense to encourage the kind of leadership that student athletes can provide. For example, white cis men should be using their privilege to be out in between police and protestors shielding their classmates not antagonizing or baiting police. How does this help your program? Community engagement without the having to worry about your team's performance in sport. Conversely if you have white cis men acting out, throwing rocks or agitating the police it's usually someone other than a white guy getting dragged off in cuffs. The visibility for your program is a net positive and the optics that a cross section of the student body is engaged can possibly give cause to the administration to think twice about adverse actions against the student body. Especially those that represent the school in sport.

From the other side of this, the sell you can make to your director and supervisors is that support for the greater student body and not just your student athletes is paramount to the success of athletics as a whole. This is another chance to reconnect with the student body in an authentic way. You grow your following, you raise the profile of your teams, and you gain support within a larger community because you understand that this generation has not known education without violence. This group of college aged students learned Run, Hide, Fight as primary schoolers. If you've done the work to create a healthy team culture this can serve to strengthen bonds, and forge a toughness not often tested in sport. You're mentoring leaders and nurturing global citizens so why not give them the chance to recognize their privilege and stand with the oppressed. 

It should go without saying, but make sure that your student athletes educate themselves not on just the issues, but how to protect themselves and each other as well. From a former street medic, it's important to know how to stay safe physically and electronically. How to Protest Safely

Edited 4/29/2024: 1st Paragraph-- Students should have the choice to participate in campus protests if they feel that it aligns with their views. It should not be coaches imposing their opinions or views onto students and using them to protest in their place. Coaches should also participate if they are in alignment.

2 Posts in One Month

I currently work with Middle School students. I do expect a fair number of drops, bumps, and spills. It's photography business for the 7th grade today. A kit was was dropped and the bayonet on the lens was busted all the way around. Upon inspection of the body itself, it seems to work just fine. I can't quite inspect the entire function of the lens, but from the aperture I can see no visible damage to the glass or mechanisms. I can buy a used lens Canon EFS 18-55mm for less than $55 or fix the bayonet for $20 and risk something else being wrong with it as a result of the drop.

But Bou, it's six screws and an uncomplicated alignment, you could totally fix it. I imagine these kit lenses don't offer metal bayonets because they are built for mass consumption and/or to keep the prices down. I dig that. I do wish Canon made these parts more readily available to tinkers and hobbyists like myself so we can repair our own gear. 

None of the reputable dealers in my area will sell me a bayonet. If it was my own money, I would buy a bayonet and gamble that nothing else was wrong with the lens and that the bayonet was a quality part. But, I don't have to play this game. I'm going to replace the lens with a used one and hang on to this one until the next accident. We'll find out then if the lens is still good. Unless a kid shatters the bayonet again (sad trombone).

I Don't Work Here

Life is so strange I swear sometimes I just want to exist anonymously. I have a very good friend that assures me that I'm actually good company. While I still feel this isn't true; I do make an effort to leave the house for stuff other than work. After having a discussion with my therapist it's more nuanced than that. I want to do my hobby/travel/work, and blend into the freaking background. The appreciation is great for a job well done, but you know what's better? When people just let me exist without pointing out how different I am or how unique my methods or reactions are. Some compliments feel like an effort to point this out. That's a me problem I'm working on.

At the same time, I'm noticing how much minutiae I'm have to actively to block or filter out to exist in peace. I want to disappear into the background, but at the same time I don't want you to walk around with spinach in your teeth or a bat hanging in the cave (nasal boogers). I'm not sure where this talent for detail stems from. I suspect my observation skills have probably been honed over the years by the military and coaching, but the foundation of these skills might stem from my autism if I believe my therapist.

Another friend suggested that it is because of my observation skills that I accidentally/subconsciously invite strangers to ask me for assistance in places where it's obvious I don't officially belong or work at. I'm not known to hide my expressions or judgement well. Without fail leaving my apartment opens me up to a variety of requests for assistance. Although, sometimes I freely give it when someone looks utterly defeated or is in apparent peril. I really like minding my own business, but if it's raining and you have no idea how to fix a flat, I will stop and help. If you drive a vehicle regularly, please learn how to change a flat. My goofy ass may not be nearby to help you.

But at a store or a shop, there's a uniform for people that work at those places. They are paid and more qualified to answer your questions than I am. I obviously don't work here since I have no nametag, no vest or apron so why do strangers ask me for help?

Sharing the Passion

Tinker content ahead, it's a been a minute

For the new school year, I was asked to run the technology for our middle school students. Our first project is to build a car capable of protecting an egg on an incline and half-pipe at the skate park nearby. They could only use recyclables or reuse/repurpose unrecyclable materials. As you can imagine, there's lots of cardboard, foam packaging, bubble wrap, bottles, cans, and egg cartons.

A lot of decisions for the students to make here:
What's the best way to protect the egg?
How do I get more distance off the roll?
What shall I name my creation?

Things they're learning along the way:
Measure twice, cut once.
Hot glue is hot, and so is the glue gun.
I need to rough up my wheels so they roll instead of slide.
Eggs are really strong and fragile at the same time, weird.
The foam is satisfyingly squishy.

This group is doing a great job, refining their creations through test runs, helping each other build, and learning it's okay to make mistakes and get messy. We have rocketry and bird house building next.