Measure Twice, Cut Once

This cover of the New Yorker is what prompted me to post:

So maybe I never wore a cute polka dot dress, but there was a time as the youngest child that I helped my dad with everything. I learned how to use tools, stop bleeding, and pull splinters. I did a lot of stuff with my dad. A lot of memories of fixing cars, building cabinets, and fabricating parts we couldn't find in stores. With a mix of broken English and Lao my dad said things like:
Measure twice, cut once.
Make sure you keep track of the parts with tape or marker.
Check the fit, before you tighten.
Never pay full price for a car. Haggle or walk away.

I developed my love for physical problem solving and tinkering with support from my dad. My mom loved that because it kept me out of her hair. I was a terrible kitchen helper and couldn't reach the clothesline or inside the washer just yet. Being small was actually an advantage because I learned how to squeeze into places and use my hands in blind or obstructed situations. This would come in very handy in adult life.

My dad taught me a lot about myself and how to adapt. He was always happy to see us and sad to see us move away. He taught me about practical jokes and how to drive. Parallel parking was his specialty. What I love most about my dad, was no matter how many times I got in trouble at school or screwed up I was always welcome to go fishing and I was always welcome home. Not to say that he wouldn't be cross or furious with my behavior, but he was often quick to show me that I was always going to be loved.

My father died in 2008 of bladder cancer. I can write that without tearing up. There was a time where I was brought to my knees every time I thought of it. Now, it doesn't hurt any less, but it just gets to the point where it stops hurting worse. I don't have a lot of photos with me and my dad doing stuff, but I have a lot of memories and this cover from the New Yorker evokes a lot of those pleasant memories.

Firestarter

I'm excited about another crowdfunding project I backed on Kickstarter, by Tortoise Gear. It's called Firefly. Firefly is a firesteel insert meant to fit in the toothpick or tweezer's holder of your Swiss Army Knife. I've had one for a few weeks now and have started fires for the Weber grill, and our fire pit. It does what it was designed to do. Make lots of sparks. If you have dry, fine tinder available, you should get a fire.

But isn't that what matches and lighters are for? Sure. But why let your outdoor skills languish when you can practice them calmly and be prepared for when you can use those skills.

Bou, when are you going to use those skills? I'm not Les Stroud by any means. Let's say your tipsy friend throws all the matches into the fire pit and while it's a raging marshmallow roaster now, what about the next four nights you'd like to have a fire? I hate being the responsible friend. Do you trust this friend to keep the fire going as penance? Do you forgo the warmth of the fire and just go to bed when it gets dark? Do you drive the 200 miles round trip to the sketchy gas station to buy a lighter for eight bucks, and then pay another $20-30 for gas? Or do you just start a fire with the tools in your pocket without holding a grudge, because fun time in the woods and on the water will continue as planned? I'm not saying this person is absolved from their crimes. I'm just saying I'll be less angry about it. If I draw them as my Euchre they better not get us set. That would send me over the edge.

But I digress. This came just in time for bonfire season and since I find the toothpick insert gross, a welcome addition to my favorite pocket knife. I haven't used it enough to notice extensive wear. It fits perfectly in the two sizes of SAK that I have, Tinker and Executive models. If you see these at your sporting goods store pick up a pack for your favorite outdoorsy SAK owning parent or friend. You can also go to Tortoise Gear and check out some of their other stuff. I hope to see you on the trails. If you come to our bonfire, bring marshmallows he threw those in too.

***Just a reminder, I don't receive payment or free products for anything I've endorsed. If I test or review a complimentary product, I'll do that via the company since they have parameters for me and rarely let me go gonzo on it. I like to test the limits of things (break things) and take them apart. So that when I do endorse something, you can trust that it has been through the ringer for regular people. Durability, self-repair potential, and excellent customer support are my main criteria. In a disposable world I still cringe when people buy things new when they can just fix what is broken themselves. Industrial Arts teachers for the win!

Vietnam 2018 Binh Dien Cup Part V

Part V: The lightbulb

Remember when I said feelings can be dealt with later? Well, it's later. I've decoded most of my thoughts from my personal journal from this trip. My journal is a written record of my ideas, places, things, thoughts, facts, and yes, feelings. This blog is how I make sense of it all. If you're still with me, that's great. I'm glad the you were able to endure it and continue reading my boring tales of misanthropy and social awkwardness.

Did I accomplish my goals for this trip? I packed light, I was present in most moments and even shared a toast with strangers. I learned names in 3 days. I made connections with both the athletes and the staff. I went to In-N-Out Burger. Am I more nimble analytically? I guess we'll find out in September. I do think some of my processes and and conclusions were validated by this experience.

Simple is often better. The day is coming when I will have my own program. I know preparation plays a large role in success, but simple is something I do well. I am comfortable with it. I am going to continue to own it.

Back to the feels. There are 30 years (14 years spent as a coach) of athletes I've worked with that hold a place in my heart. Very rarely does an entire team sneak in there and pull at my strings all at once. There are so many memories and moments that we share and I couldn't possibly cover them all or pair them with the words that do them justice. I wish the best for all of them in their upcoming pro/college seasons.

What follows is not part of my journal. This will be unfiltered and probably muddy. I've met so many wonderful different people in my travels. I've worked many different jobs. I was a career changer. I started in the Army, worked in IT, moved over to software, taught MS/HS, and here I am coaching volleyball. Nothing has been more enjoyable than to work with people who share the same passion as you.

This trip was special for me because I spent time with strangers in a foreign land with only a passion for volleyball to initially bring us together. I am grateful that a simple thing like volleyball can bring so many people joy. From this team that won a place in my heart to the fans beating drums and blowing their vuvuzela's in the 90 degree heat of the gymnasium; I am humbled by your enthusiasm, and kindness. Travel changes you, it makes the world smaller. It compresses time without you realizing it. I was dreading 40 something fierce. After returning from Vietnam and working with this crew, I'm looking forward to 40 and I'm ready to share my story and be a part of many more. Peace.

Vietnam 2018 Binh Dien Cup Part IV

Part IV: Hoi An Mostly

We're all a little weird. Wait, aren't we? It's just me that's weird?! Damn, I was hoping to grow out of that. Well I'm going to be 40 in November so I'll just keep being weird, might be too late now. During our down time we visited Hoi An twice. The first time thanks to Erin our trip leader to experience the night market and have a team meal at Vy's Market Restaurant and Cooking School. The second time we went as part of a larger group including all of the teams participating in the tournament. Different focus each time with no shortage of good food, laughter and photos. Caution, you will not see photos here. This is a place for words.

Hoi An is a busy market town. So what did I do during our first visit? I rented a bicycle. The guy took my picture with his phone, and gave me an extra 10 minutes for a total of 70 minutes for 100,000 VND (~$4 USD). I braved the crowds and rode through the markets and shops to see if there was something that struck my fancy. Mostly mangoes, and coconut water, but I really wanted some hard boiled duck eggs. I wasn't sure if it was balut or an actual hard boiled egg. I decided against it. My stomach had held up pretty well so far, I wasn't about to push my luck.

Cycling advice: pedestrians will ignore you, motorbikes and cars honk before they pass. Use your hand signals to communicate your intentions and you'll be fine. You may have to make a Michigan left if it's really busy. I have never felt so safe riding a bicycle in traffic. I didn't get doored, bumped, or buzzed. I explored a great deal of Old and New Hoi An on bicycle in my 70 minutes. It's an easy ride because it's so flat. I rode some on paved streets and back roads by the river. It was an enjoyable cruise and surprisingly easy way to beat the heat with the constant breeze. I stopped at some kind of cafe along the river and had a refreshing iced Vietnamese coffee before heading back to return my bicycle and meet up with the team for dinner.

Dinner at Vy's was delicious. I had Bun Cha and it reminded me of the cooking my mom does. My family is Laotian, so it's not quite the same food and culture as the Vietnamese, but similar enough that it reminds me of home. I do believe our team enjoyed their meals and the evening. While I could have used some Whitney Houston on the bus, I'm thankful for the tunes on the bus ride back to our hotel.

The Federation running the tournament sponsored a day trip to Hoi An. This was complete with tour guides and professional photographers. After the tours, I decided to people watch this time. I went to a cafe, and drank a bunch of iced coffee (coconut mostly). I saw a lot of tourists, locals, and was amazed at how kind everybody was and how much people still smoke. I read my book and sipped. It was great to just be for a while. We've talked about this before; I treasure alone time. I'm grateful for the breaks in our trip to enjoy solitude and bask in the shade of the sun.

Our team is comprised entirely 20-somethings I believe. And as such, they do things that are quite entertaining and endearing. I mean they also do things that defy logic and make me scratch my head, but that may be a book I write in the future to pay for my farm of bees, chickens, and maple trees. At all of our Cup dinners (opening, gala, closing) they brought their style and best dance moves to the stage to share with the other 20-somethings there. It's really fun to see young people with no common language be united in sport and have fun through music and dancing.

Vietnam 2018 Binh Dien Cup Part III

Part III: We're here to play volleyball

I'm competitive. It's not a secret. In the Army, I refused to let my size slow me down. I took on and beat many challengers in different contests, and bested one drill sergeant (story for another day). My nemesis here was my roommate, Val. We both snore. It's a contest to see who can fall asleep the quickest. Every. Night. I win most nights (thanks to Uncle Sam) except on nights we have matches. There's something about re-watching the match and replaying it in my mind that keeps my brain from relaxing. It's a habit I have from working with my collegiate teams. The turnaround is quick and most of the staffs I've been on, it's just me working film.

This team was assembled late. The roster changed a few times due to last minute schedule changes, injuries, and other stuff. Regardless, the team we fielded with little preparation time together (we practiced 5 times before competing) was good. I didn't have expectations until I saw them play their first match. I knew we'd make it to finals. I wasn't sure if we'd be playing the Chinese team or Vietnamese team from Pool A but I knew we'd be in the finals.

Reasons I think we were successful (I don't mean wins, that's an outcome you can't control):

Our Head Coach, Joe kept it simple. With limited prep time identify your best players, your team's strengths, and build a strategy around that. I sometimes get stuck thinking of all the angles and scenarios when sometimes the simplest thing is the best choice. I imagine there's a time and a place for preparing for multiple scenarios, but a 3 match pool, and 2 match playoff is not it. I attribute this attitude to my previous life as an OR technician and software nerd where it's helpful to know the possible outcomes, and steer the scenario to more favorable conditions.

Our athletes know themselves pretty well. They know how to prepare mentally and physically. They do the things that help them play well. From the music they choose, the way they warm up, to the routine they have the day before. They know what they need and they ask for it. As a coach I know that happy athletes play better. Make sure you know what it takes to get yourself to that place where time slows down, and you can see everything happen before it happens.

We don't make excuses. It's hot for everybody. The calls are bad for everybody. We owned our mistakes and took action to correct them. Pass the ball less tight, dig a ball a bit higher, press the block a bit longer, these small changes are often unseen by the casual fan. But when executing we take advantage of the second chance we've been given. It just so happened in the Final against Jiangsu we ran out of chances. If the last set was played to 25 who knows what the outcome would have been. [shrugging emoji]

I think every athlete on this roster had something special to offer. I also think every athlete on this roster will move on to bigger and better things. One thing I noticed that was different from my collegiate teams is that when we talk to the athletes, they really latch on to the message and not the delivery. This is not often the case in my experience. The message gets muddled in the delivery and the intent is sometimes lost. Some athletes mistake the instruction as criticism for not doing the thing we are asking them to do. Some athletes will take it a step further and infer that they don't measure up to the standard. I want to bash my head against the wall when I ask an athlete on my college team to wait and be faster on an attack approach or block move and their response is to take it personally or as a criticism of what they are currently doing. It was a relief to be able to speak with athletes about volleyball and not have it become a personal indictment on their performance or character.

I've never been very expressive. That's one of my quirks as a coach. I see everything for what it is and set aside my emotion so that when I talk about, I can do so calmly, and quickly. That compartmentalization is important when you're working on a compressed timeline. Compartmentalization allows me to be objective and present. The lack of emotional expression is not a lack of empathy or sympathy (yes they are different) on my part, but genuine effort to set feelings aside in order to make the best choice for the team. In conflict with the typical INTJ profile, I am mindful of my feelings and they don't confound or fluster me. It is just my policy that my feelings can be dealt with at later date.

Vietnam 2018 Binh Dien Cup Part II

Part II: DaNang

After meeting the team, I promptly forgot their names. I know I'm a terrible person (Janice=Shelly Hill) for not making an effort, but I'll figure it out eventually, there's only 11 of them. Well, 10 right now. One of them is still in China waiting on a visa. BTW: she does make it to the airport to fly to DaNang with us. After walking about the day before, and taking in the sights in the morning we have a team lunch before heading to the airport. If you've ever eaten with me, you know I like to take my time. All those years of wolfing down dreadful Army chow have caused me to slow down and really enjoy my meals. I didn't realize it at the time, but this pre-flight lunch was going to be brief. I ordered beef pho. I finally got it with 15 minutes left on the clock. No time to slurp the broth. Season it, let it cool a bit, and scarf it down. Don't tell my mom I had pho while I was there. And if you do tell her, you heard me say it's not as good as hers. Score one for me because I put a little too much hot sauce on it, and as a result I was sweating on the air conditioned bus. Gotcha Vietnam, spicy foods make you sweat, thus cooling you off. I should listen to my mom more.

Remember, we're working with mostly professional athletes on this team. So while waiting for the plane, they convene and arrive at a consensus for their offensive system lingo. They drew it up and shared it with the group. At this time, I think I have all their names down, but now have to relearn the names of sets, gahhhhhh. We got on a plane, landed in DaNang, and made it to the hotel. Somewhere in there were flowers, a welcome committee, more photos, a bus ride, water buffalos, and super hot gymnasium. Our first practice we just let some rust loose and caught a glimpse of the pageantry in the main gym. The boys rehearsed their pre-game and floor cleaning routine. Yes, all boys. Not a single girl on the crew.

From watching this team, it's clear to me that they are all quite good at volleyball and I realize that this is going to be a great ride. BTW I've got my first misfire, Holly from Michigan becomes Molly. I told you, names are my kryptonite. Icebreaker games make it worse because I try to combine all that information into one word and make a name from it. Molly is just one example. Carlyle becomes Carl, not Grimes from the Walking Dead, but because Lyle reminds me of Lyle Alzado, look it up. And it seems volleyball is such small world that some of them have actually played together, four of them are from KC, two pairs of them played at the same university, and you can get to each person well within less than four degrees of someone other than Tim Kelly, founder and owner of the BIP agency.

Yes, I'm going to talk about the lavatory in our room. There's window into the main room in the bathroom fortunately with privacy blinds. The faucet's cold water is actually warm and not cold. The hot water is actually scalding hot water. The shower is distinctly English with only half a pane of shower glass to contain the shower water. I resolved to sit while holding the sprayer so that I wouldn't leave a lake in the bathroom for my roommate. Why am I talking about the bathroom? I spent a lot of time in the bathroom because Vietnam is hot, and because it is so hot, I had to drink a lot of water. When you drink a lot of water, you have to use the toilet, a lot.

Coach Val discovered the convenience of instant coffee and electric kettles. Instant coffee here contains sweetener and creamer premixed in the powder. I use it at work because some troglodyte always fluffs the coffeepot so I prefer to boil water and drink instant. She also discovered the 20th floor where there's a cafe and better wi-fi. After the Ao Dai (o-e-i) fitting, welcome dinner, opening ceremonies, and prelim training we fell into this routine of training, pre-game, and competition.

Our team liaison Van Dai aka Radio was our translator and facilitator. She attends briefings to make sure we have the correct court times and tends to the needs of our team. Whether it's ice, match volleyballs, towels, or ensuring that our athletes with food allergies have safe options; we have by far the best liaison out of any other team in this tournament. Mind you she doesn't do all the running about, but she knows who/how to ask for stuff and exercised great patience and care with our team. She even took pictures with Coach Val's phone during some of our matches. Her presence and service was indispensable and I'm glad I got to meet her and learn her story.

That's one of the joys of traveling and meeting new people in new places. You learn their stories. All the while you become part of their stories, and they in yours. It can be a sentence, a paragraph, a chapter or ten, but whether spoken or thought, you're in there somewhere. Your story is richer because of it and becomes part of a larger story that connects us all. It's one of the few things I take pleasure in while in the company of other people.

Vietnam 2018 Binh Dien Cup

Let's get the particulars out of the way. I was one of two assistant coaches for the Bring It Promotions (BIP) team representing the United States in Vietnam for a volleyball tournament, Binh Dien Cup. As far as I know we are the first USA team to play in a volleyball tournament in Vietnam. Spoiler, we lost in finals and won silver. If you follow me on Facebook, you probably saw a bunch of pictures, links to video. Anna Church has a nice run down of our trip, complete with photos, and interesting stuff. You should check out her online journal/blog thing.

This was a 16 day trek for me. I arrived early to allow my body time to adjust and spent the night in LA on the way home to allow myself to decompress from the Transpacific flight (go to In-N-Out Burger). Now the time lords get to keep two of those days because I spent them on a plane and factor in the international date line nonsense.

My goals for this trip fall into two categories personal and professional. I wanted to pack light and rely on my phone for snapshots. Normally I would pack 3 cameras for a trip like this. My main, my backup, my compact, all with lenses, power and consume all the shots at once leaving zero time to digest the place I was just in. I have a tendency to shoot first, enjoy later. I wanted something different. I wanted to be present.

I wanted to experience volleyball from the bench at a high level. I wanted to test my process and practice being a little more nimble in my analysis and decision making. I wanted to be in the gym with competitors and personalities that I wouldn't get to work with normally. Not to say that my team isn't competitive, but these are professionals, it's their job and they are damn good at it.

In true adventure form, I was stepping out of my comfort zone and having to bond quickly with the staff and the athletes. I know that meeting new people and connecting is not a strength of mine. To the untrained, it seems that speaking to prospects and their parents doesn't seem to bother me. I'm somewhat at ease with it, but what most people don't realize is that before and after I go to recruit somewhere I need to isolate myself and cache my alone time so that I can cope with the general public.

Part I: Getting to Ho Chi Minh City

I read "Where the Wild Things Are" on the flight out to LA to a random child. I find that while I dislike small children, a few of them find a way to connect with me. Children, infants especially are a total mystery to me. Hell, I'm a total mystery to me. This kid in the waiting area must have seen me reading in the waiting area. It's a Southwest flight so there's open seating. I neglected to check in early so I was in one of the last groups to board. I'm wading through the aisle and I feel this tug on my trousers. It's this little boy asking me to sit in the aisle seat next to him. But, I can only sit there if I read to him. This kid is going places. Not only does he love books, but he already appreciates other people that like books. I was sold. Best flight ever. I can forgive the nose picking and sticky juice box fingers. Mom, Auntie were tending to fussy sister. Grandma did not have her glasses. I could get used to kids like this.

I feel for tall people and their smashed knees in small spaces. Here's something that might not occur to you. On some planes, my feet don't actually reach the ground fully. On some flights, I have to slouch in my seat to plant my feet comfortably on the ground. My back hates this. My legs hate to dangle. So, I'm that person that is up any chance they get on long flight to stretch, to walk about, and just not be in a seat. When you're in the middle row of the center group, this takes some finesse. I tried to time my breaks with the lady watching movies next to me. That worked really well because I think she was just a squirrel-y as I was. It even got to the point where she asked me if I needed to get up after her movie was done. Well, she didn't say it, but she pointed at me and then the aisle. Kindness is a universal. I gave her my pineapples.

Taipei Airport restrooms are like being on holiday. They are well lit. They are clean. There is no gap in the door. There's plenty of room for you and your bags. It's quiet. Props, to Taipei and their lavatories.

Arrival in Ho Chi Minh City consisted of passport control, getting bags, and finding the dude that has a sign with your name on it. While Coach Val and I wait for our ride to the hotel, I'm struck by how hot and humid it is. I peel off a layer, but I'm still sweating. Okay Vietnam, Game on.

Motorbikes are the primary mode of travel. Cross the street cautiously and confidently. Look both ways. That's my best advice. Oh, and motorbikes like to take shortcuts on the sidewalk, so it's best to have some eyeballs in the back of your head.

At some point I got a massage at our hotel. It was billed as an upper body massage with paraffin hand treatment. I had never had a paraffin hand treatment. I mean I played softball and volleyball and my fingers are so mashed up they don't fully straighten at the tips (mallet finger) and other hand injuries are common, but have never had this done before.

The massage started great. She wasn't any taller or bigger than I, but she did a great job working out the massive tension in my shoulders. I probably should have warned her about the soft spot on my skull. That didn't occur to me until she gasped while she was massaging my neck and the base of my skull. The surgeon used titanium mesh to repair the hole in my skull after having a tumor removed in 2002. While it is soft there you can't poke my brain, though my family has tried. I told her in my best terrible Vietnamese that I was okay and to keep going, please. After her initial reluctance, she continued with the kneading of my head skin although with less vigor than before.

Next, the paraffin treatment or hot wax for your hands. I'm not gonna lie, the wax is hot. I have a high tolerance for pain, and I thought the wax was hot. [I've been shot, torn both ACLs (though not at the same time), rucked 5k on sprained ankles (yes both), jumped into icy water to retrieve keys, and hit in the throat with softballs, floor hockey balls/pucks and I drive on every time.] It might have been the exfoliation they did prior, it might have been the room we were in, but it was super uncomfortable at first. They wrap your hands in plastic wrap after applying the wax and peel it off like a glove. That alone was worth the price of the massage. To peel a layer from a substrate in one motion with the entire layer completely intact is one of the single most satisfying actions one can witness.