I'm not a very tall person, I will be the first to admit that I am a shrimpo, and I come from a family of shrimpos. That is not to say that I don't deserve my own personal space. A two foot radius in all directions is reasonable. I remember from my basic training that if you enter a Drill Sergeants 3 foot bubble he or she has a right to correct you in the most painful way imaginable. Drill Sergeants are very creative when it comes to physical punishment. So I'm not asking for a whole lot.
While waiting in the check-out line at an undisclosed hardware store, I could feel warm air and wetness on my neck. What the deuce? Why are you standing so close to me? These were the questions that entered my mind. What came out of my mouth was, "Excuse me, are you in a hurry, would you like to step in line ahead of me?" "Why thank you!", she replied. Off her merry little way she went. At least she wasn't breathing down my neck anymore. What's a couple more minutes on an very nice day?
As the cashier is wrapping up dragon lady's stuff, doesn't some freaky looking ginger with bad teeth get in line behind me with a cart and take out my Achilles. I just want some space folks.
15 June 2011
07 June 2011
Rest Stops and Public Bathrooms
I do enjoy sporting the buzz cut. It suits my nature as a low maintenance kind of person. Usually when I stop to relieve myself at rest stops I get looks from people thinking that I'm blind, illiterate, or stupid for using the women's restroom. I'm used to the stares by now, all those people are just jealous because I am more aerodynamic than them.
I went home one weekend to visit my family in Rochester, NY and on the way back to Erie, PA I stopped at the welcome center in PA on I90 heading West. I entered the stall as usual and a mother daughter pair had flanked me after I had latched the door. I assumed the usual position and like most women that use public restrooms I hover so that I don't get the seat wet or have to touch it. Its a great quad workout.
As I prepared to do my business the pair on either side of me must have thought that their stalls were next to each other because they began conversing. They talked about shopping, mother's work, father's day, and the long drive they had ahead of them. I am ashamed to say that I couldn't go. So I hovered and thought that I would wait until they finished and left.
While I waited there hovering over the bowl, a hand reached underneath the stall and waved at me.
"Hey mom, there's no toilet paper in this stall, can you hand me some please?"
"Honey I don't see your hand."
"But it's right here, I'm grabbing your leg." -Enter Long Awkward Silence-
"Ummmm, No you are not."
"Erm, here.", as I handed her a wad of toilet paper.
They quickly exited the facilities, and I was finally able to go. I wandered around a bit, because I didn't want to chance an encounter in the parking lot. I didn't want them to recognize me by my sandals. And I didn't want to recognize them by their voices or their license plates. It's probably better off that we remain complete strangers.
I think this incident teaches us two valuable lessons.
1. Check the TP in the stall of any public restroom before going.
2. Do not grab people in a public place that you can't see.
I went home one weekend to visit my family in Rochester, NY and on the way back to Erie, PA I stopped at the welcome center in PA on I90 heading West. I entered the stall as usual and a mother daughter pair had flanked me after I had latched the door. I assumed the usual position and like most women that use public restrooms I hover so that I don't get the seat wet or have to touch it. Its a great quad workout.
As I prepared to do my business the pair on either side of me must have thought that their stalls were next to each other because they began conversing. They talked about shopping, mother's work, father's day, and the long drive they had ahead of them. I am ashamed to say that I couldn't go. So I hovered and thought that I would wait until they finished and left.
While I waited there hovering over the bowl, a hand reached underneath the stall and waved at me.
"Hey mom, there's no toilet paper in this stall, can you hand me some please?"
"Honey I don't see your hand."
"But it's right here, I'm grabbing your leg." -Enter Long Awkward Silence-
"Ummmm, No you are not."
"Erm, here.", as I handed her a wad of toilet paper.
They quickly exited the facilities, and I was finally able to go. I wandered around a bit, because I didn't want to chance an encounter in the parking lot. I didn't want them to recognize me by my sandals. And I didn't want to recognize them by their voices or their license plates. It's probably better off that we remain complete strangers.
I think this incident teaches us two valuable lessons.
1. Check the TP in the stall of any public restroom before going.
2. Do not grab people in a public place that you can't see.
06 June 2011
New to PA, time for a new blog.
I started this blog to share my stories with the world. I'm not good about writing on a set schedule. My life is not dramatic or interesting by any means. But there are times where I find myself in awkward and comical situations. I have a collection of anecdotes from the last 10 years or so and I will revisit them on days where I haven't written in awhile or have zero interesting things to post. My memory fails me sometimes so this blog also serves to chronicle my misfortunes and triumphs. For your reference: I'm 5-1, and will make jokes about my height and others, for instance I love getting items off the top shelf for people because it makes me feel tall. I'm extremely handy. I have many epic saves to my name due to my resourcefulness. Not quite MacGyver, but I don't have ten thumbs either. I coach volleyball and love every minute of it. I love technology and try my best to stay current. I consider myself a well rounded geek.
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