07 June 2011

Rest Stops and Public Bathrooms

I do enjoy sporting the buzz cut.  It suits my nature as a low maintenance kind of person.  Usually when I stop to relieve myself at rest stops I get looks from people thinking that I'm blind, illiterate, or stupid for using the women's restroom.  I'm used to the stares by now, all those people are just jealous because I am more aerodynamic than them.

I went home one weekend to visit my family in Rochester, NY and on the way back to Erie, PA I stopped at the welcome center in PA on I90 heading West.  I entered the stall as usual and a mother daughter pair had flanked me after I had latched the door.  I assumed the usual position and like most women that use public restrooms I hover so that I don't get the seat wet or have to touch it.  Its a great quad workout.

As I prepared to do my business the pair on either side of me must have thought that their stalls were next to each other because they began conversing.  They talked about shopping, mother's work, father's day, and the long drive they had ahead of them.  I am ashamed to say that I couldn't go.  So I hovered and thought that I would wait until they finished and left.

While I waited there hovering over the bowl, a hand reached underneath the stall and waved at me.
"Hey mom, there's no toilet paper in this stall, can you hand me some please?"
"Honey I don't see your hand."
"But it's right here, I'm grabbing your leg."  -Enter Long Awkward Silence-
"Ummmm, No you are not."
"Erm, here.", as I handed her a wad of toilet paper.

They quickly exited the facilities, and I was finally able to go.  I wandered around a bit, because I didn't want to chance an encounter in the parking lot.  I didn't want them to recognize me by my sandals.  And I didn't want to recognize them by their voices or their license plates.  It's probably better off that we remain complete strangers.

I think this incident teaches us two valuable lessons.
1.  Check the TP in the stall of any public restroom before going.
2.  Do not grab people in a public place that you can't see.

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