Lighthouses

I've been obsessed with lighthouses since watching Reading Rainbow as a child and reading the book featured in that episode about a lighthouse keeper. I've read many books since then, and visited several stateside. In fact, second only to public libraries, lighthouses are a mandatory on my travels to new places. Sometimes they're the sole purpose for visiting a certain locale. Obviously some places don't have lighthouses, and while many are automated, I secretly hope that one day, I can live in and maintain one, even if it's just a museum or attraction.

I'm not sure if it's the solitude, the proximity to water, or potential for danger that attracts me, but it's one of those things I've always wanted to experience. I imagine it suits my personality and improvisation skills very well. I have a knack for survival and work well alone. I'm confident in my repair skills. I do pride myself on my ability to fix just about anything and make due with the supplies I have on hand. I used a shoelace to hold a cell phone to a tripod so that we could stream one of our away matches on IG. 

I'm not really sure why or how this came up. I am pretty random that way. I guess I'm good with my hands, and I wish I was able to use them more.

You Gotta Fight, For Your Right, To Repair Things!

Gen Xer here calling on the Beastie Boys to intro my next entry. As a tinker I pride myself in being able to fix just about anything. I have a few different methods. Use schematics and manuals provided by the manufacturer. Use schematics and manuals provided by others like iFixit and YouTube videos. My own experience read trial and error. Because I enjoy fixing stuff, I hardly purchase things new and just buy used or reconditioned items knowing that I’ll make an attempt to fix it myself eventually. If I’m successful, I’ve gotten a few more uses out of it before it completely craps the bed and becomes spare parts or if I fail, I now have experience diagnosing and tearing something down and I didn’t lose too much money in the process. 

This ability and desire to take things apart, repair them, and extend the life of things became a useful skill when I was laid off from work and did freelance repairs on electronics of all sorts. That’s become complicated as makers of the products we use begin to lock down their gadgets and devices with firmware, and parts needed to complete the repairs. Tolerances have become very tight when it’s comes to these powerful and portable devices. So repairs require a little more finesse and and a lot more skill. Now you could take it to an authorized repair location and pay a premium for their expertise, parts, and some sort of warranty on that repair but you also run the risk of being up sold to another product. Whether or not it’s intentional to buy something new because it’s less expensive than fixing it makes for a lot of waste and discourages the potential for a learning moment.

If you get the chance to talk to a lawmaker remind them that we should be able to repair the things we buy with our hard earned money. We are not asking for unlimited warranties or products that last "forever". We just want the chance to access and service our stuff and get as much use out of them as we can. The longer we can use something, the more money we have to spend on other stuff like books, travel, and charitable giving. Plus you're keeping trash out of some landfill from your non recyclable thing and the packaging that comes with buying a replacement.

Dear Seattle

Dear Seattle,

I have arrived. I hope you don't mind, I brought a few of my things and North Carolina heat. I apologize for the heat and promise to do my little part to be a friend to the planet. I've gotten my bearings and with the help of a very nice stranger have finally unpacked. I'm waiting for furniture to arrive, but I'm content with my cot and makeshift furnishings. I appreciate that you've cooled down quite a bit so much so that I've been exploring Eastlake on foot and keeping tabs on my new favorite brunch places. 

Next, I think I'll use public transit to explore the other parts of the city because having a car is cumbersome without a parking permit, and let's face, y'all need to work on your parallel parking skills. But your skylines are gorgeous as are your shores. Don't worry a bicycle is on order and I'll be cruising your streets soon. I do already have a favorite chain, Dick's Drive-In. It is comparable to In-N-Out burger. Fast counter service, straight forward menu, well-paid employees, and lines all the time because it's just so good. Don't ask me to pick a favorite, I love you both.

I know where Mt. Rainer is at all times and I do hope to visit the Cascades eventually. I need a break from your meandering mountain roads. Driving from NC was easy until I got to ND. I was tempted by those speed limits to zoom, but cautioned by the construction and elevation changes to slow down enough to enjoy the drive. I must say you smell different than any city I've lived in or visited. I'm having a hard time describing it. It's not salty or peaty, but dewy maybe. No, not dewy now I'm implying mold, and that's not right. I'll figure out how to describe it properly after a few more weeks. Thanks for having me here. You won't be disappointed.

Sincerely,

Bouaketh

Spring Cleaning

My spring cleaning comes at the end of the season, academic year, and when I change jobs. Yes, there are three. This round of cleaning is all of those plus a pack and move. Strange thing for instance of cleaning is the sifting and sorting is for a season that never was, a virtual academic year, and an almost two-year stop in Winston Salem.

As I contemplate and prepare for this move I revisit many memories. One such memory is triggered by each of these tokens: a happy little turtle, Woodstock pez dispenser, and a jade elephant.

The red and green turtle was given to my by one of my AP biology students when I taught high school biology during my first huge career shift. I would substitute teach to help pay bills as I worked to figure out what I was going to do for work, and attend to my passion of volleyball, teaching and learning. The student thanked me for helping him get a 5 on the AP exam, and said he was excited to be the first in his family to attend college. He said, "Slow and steady wins the race, coach. You'll figure it out, if anybody does it will be you."

The Woodstock pez dispenser was given to me as payment for changing a tire for an amputee. I had not asked for payment, but I had just finished changing a difficult tire on a hot an humid day. He gave me the pez, a bottle of water, and a business card good for artwork from his tattoo parlor. I don't have a tattoo. I have never thought of getting one. I don't even know what I would get. Anyway, I lost that freebie like 5-6 moves ago, but Woodstock still greets me at my desk to remind me how good you can make other people feel.

The jade elephant is the newest addition to the collection of desk friends. This student athlete had a hard time navigating college dealing with personal struggles, and coming back from injury. On her trip to Thailand she thought enough of me to bring me back something. I think of Waffle House when I look at it, that's a story I'll let her tell you.

Bye Winston-Salem, it's been fun.

Jelly legs

There were so many things I wanted to write about last week and this week that I got jelly-legged and wrote nothing. I had to grade some straggler's assignments and wrap up at the high school I also teach at. My class gave me an online send off with a slideshow presentation highlighting some of my more endearing qualities and quirks that they appreciated. I have some rather large changes in my life coming up and I'm busy prepping for a move. I will share more as details become final, but let's just say I'm finally getting to do the bits of coaching that I excel at so yes, I am moving on from my current position. 

Non Negotiable

I've been working on this post for quite some time. And while I didn't have it ready in time for Wednesday, it's worth noting, that my compulsion to adhere to deadlines has waned dramatically as I age. I'm sure I'll add more to this list as we battle a fascist movement right here in our own country. 
---

My Non-Negotiables
I don't feel compelled to surround myself or associate with people for the sake of collecting them. I have standards. If you have an opinion that is different from mine, I can let it slide on certain issues. There are a few deal breakers that will get you shut out of my circle. Before I get into them, please know I do still value your existence as a person, I would just prefer not to speak to you or be in your company.

1. Science Deniers
Yes it's a big category and whether it's vaccines, gender, sexuality, evolution, climate change or nutrition I just can't be bothered by someone that refuses to understand science and data even when it's presented in simple terms. As a teacher, I am often called upon to boil down complex topics into bite sized pieces for my students. I worked as a technical writer, I can make short work of unfamiliar systems or processes so I'm confident in my ability to help any person understand science. Ask me, I will be more than happy to help you understand. I can use words, pictures, music or videos. Fair warning, I'm terrible at drawing.

2. All Lives Matter
There was a time where I would sarcastically reply, yes all lives do matter, so will you march with us at the Black Lives Matter protest? That culled the crowd real quick. If you say this, I cannot have you in my space. Go read some books, do some soul searching, and when you can tell me why this take is wrong; I'll give you a peanut for doing the minimum.

3. White Supremacists
I shouldn't have to explain this.

4. People that don't read for work and or leisure
There are only so many stories we can tell about our own lives. After that, I would rather sit in silence than rehash the same jokes or stories.

5. Abusers
I shouldn't have to explain this one either.

6. QAnon Followers
Okay, this one will get it's own post eventually, but seriously this smacks of a grift of the gullible souls that think wearing a mask is a violation of their civil rights. I can't.

Today I learned

Well, not quite today as in 05MAY2021. I've been seeing a therapist since before the pandemic to help me work through some personal issues. Along the way, I've learned a ton of new things about myself, and to be honest most of it was validation of what makes me who I am today. I didn't enter therapy seeking validation. I went there to vent and reduce my blood pressure, and it became so much more.

So what have I learned? 

It's okay to not like bars, crowded spaces, and loud places. I carry earplugs with me just in case. It's also okay to suggest alternatives to these spaces and that I should not feel like I am upsetting the apple cart.

My sarcasm are hugs. Although I am getting better at accepting and receiving platonic physical gestures, I use sarcasm to let people know I've brought them into my circle. Otherwise it's fist bumps and awkward waves for the rest of you.

I'm really good at setting boundaries even though I don't always express them tactfully. And I'm very careful not to let work and personal life blur those lines.

My self-described OCD isn't really OCD. I have some of those tendencies, but in fact my therapist assured me that I don't have OCD. As I described my routines and behaviors that I deemed problematic or that might interfere with my work, most of the things I described stem from events where failure had occurred in the past and I was working to reduce the risk of them occurring again. Informed preparation is not OCD.

What things do I still need to work on?

I don't like socializing in the conventional sense. I'm terrible at it. I can be cold, aloof, and indifferent to strangers. But, the moment someone needs help or there is a problem to solve, I'm usually the first to offer assistance. We're still navigating the middle ground here. I don't see the need to be better at socializing, but I think my therapist wants to ensure that I don't become the hermit crab as I get older. (I know, I'm projecting.) There's value in this, but I'm still sorting that bit out on why there is value and what it means to be social on my terms.

Why The Withdrawal From Social Media?

People that interact with me regularly on Social Media have asked, "Where have you been, and are you doing okay?" To answer, I've been working from home and I have been reading a lot more and outside since the weather is nice and my doctor has me on a kickass allergy regimen. I'm just dandy and not one sandwich has been thrown at me while riding my bicycle in traffic and I have not been doored. 

I don't have a ton of followers or close friends on SM. If I had to put a number on it, 25 are friends in real life, and about half of them wondered what my deal was. I was possibly a hermit crab in a previous life. I'm not much for socializing to begin with and Social Media had the appeal of interacting as much as I wanted to and not worrying about the physical anxiety that comes with the physical presence of other people.

So far I've experienced a few temporary bans and holds on my accounts due to bots and targeted reporting of my posts. I don't have the anonymity that others have with their accounts. I use bits of my actual name because I have nothing to hide, seriously. Some have gone so far as to accuse me of being a bot. As much as I wish I had robotic legs (since both of my knees hate me and the stairs I climb regularly) I am very much human. Social Media is almost as exhausting as being around actual people in real life, almost.

So nothing salacious or viral happened, I'm just doing something I would normally do in real life which is to stand in the corner and observe (judge). Next week I'll tell you about some things I've learned about myself since I began talking to a licensed therapist. I really hope you are well.

BC

Bringing Back Writing Wednesday

Hey, long time no write. I tried the social media thing, and I've come to the conclusion that it is just not for me. I enjoy it enough to share a smile, catch a laugh, or hold people accountable, but it's not the place for me to share what I really want to share. The short attention span or short format is just not who I am. I need to ramble, but I want to give the reader the option to continue reading or just skip forward. So back to Writing Wednesdays for me. If you're down with that, read on.

Today's subject, my new class, Strategy of Games.
This Spring Semester we continued with full remote online learning. I introduced a special topic for the Physical Education Department. My thought for this class was to get the students to do some introspection on their decision making processes. I only got half the semester to work with them, but in that half we explored risk management, outcome analysis, probability, and put it all together in a practical way using games like checkers, connect four, Among Us, dissecting heist movies like Foolproof, and actual robberies and crimes.

After reading some of their feedback and comments, I'm happy to share they enjoyed the course. The most common comment was some form of, "I wish someone had walked me through this sooner." That struck a nerve with me. As a volleyball coach, this is partly how I train self-sufficient young adults for volleyball and the things that come after. They don't realize it, but I've been teaching strategic thinking the entire time they have been with me. For those athletes that jump to coaching, it's immediately apparent. For others, it was a gradual shift in their thinking and their decision making process. Some of them call it impulse control. It felt really good to help students flex their brains and learn something new about themselves.

If you have questions or want to see an outline and lesson plans for this class, please let me know. I would be happy to help you adapt this coursework for an entire semester or High School students.