29 July 2011

Tales from Volleyball Camp

This summer I decided to work a volleyball camp other than the one at Gannon University.  This lets me expand my network of volleyball people, and add new ways of teaching skills to my knowledge base.  Did I just say knowledge base?  I'm officially an ubergeek.  I will share tales of personal space invasion, absolute clumsiness, and of course observations of random people, I've never met.  Here we go!

July 10:  Really excited to meet and work with the great minds at the University of Illinois.  Got on the train and fell a asleep, no big deal there.  I woke up to a child whispering to his mother, "Look at that huge scar."  I promptly replied, "Be careful, I bite!" I heard his mother chuckle, and whispered something I couldn't quite hear.  After that the kid would even play checkers with me.  I was going to let him win the first game, then crush his hopes of ever winning at checkers again, but never got the chance.

July 13-14:  I'm not outgoing, funny, or cute, but somehow campers are infatuated by my nickname and are ultimately drawn to my attempts at impersonations, and creative solutions to Rock, Paper, Scissors.  One camper in particular was smitten by my ability to imitate Dumbledore from the viral sensation "Potter Pals".  She took the evening downtime as a chance to photograph practically everybody at camp.  Sort of sneaking up behind you and blinding you with camera flash.  I didn't quite appreciate it, so I did what any adult would do I got my revenge.  Her next four or five victims were as unsuspecting as I was, but I had pulled my sweatshirt over my head, Cornholio style and snuck up behind her to scare the piss out of her.  I won, she ended up on the floor, everyone in the cafeteria laughed.  Before you ask if she went "Carrie" on everybody, it was later and only 20 or so people were there to witness this.

July 16:  I took the train back to Chicago and had a long layover before the train to Erie.  There were some drunk folks on the train talking about all things cute and inappropriate at the same time.  I really hope they were married.  I decided to take in a movie, Harry Potter to be exact.  While taking the stairs exiting the tube, I noticed this rather tall girl not observing the four stair rule.  The dude in front of her stopped suddenly when he realized that he had forgotten something her head went right up his "you know where".

At the movie I took a seat toward the middle as a single viewer.  I know how groups like to sit together so I thought I'd be courteous.  It just so happened the girl next to me left a seat open.  I guess she didn't want to be a creeper.  I ended up moving over to it, as I noticed a couple meander through the row.  They gave me an appreciative thanks, and offered me gummy bears.  They were so sweet.  Back to the movie.  Somewhere in between Neville taunting the Death Eaters, and McGonnagal always wanting to use "that" spell, the random girl grabbed my hand and drank my water.  I kindly asked her to let go and to keep the water.  So much for not trying to be a creeper.

July 17:  Back to Erie and ready to meet the freshman, take team pictures, meet recruits, and set up for camp.  The first impression I make on the freshman and first recruits, BAM.  I slipped on a puddle and did a full Charlie Brown in the air.  I would have been knocked out had I not been carrying Claren's bag in front.  I only smacked my head.  Little bump, but the damage was done.  Any aura of authority or badass persona I had established has now been reduced to a puddle.

July 22:  Flight to Chicago for UI team camp.  I was seated in the middle.  I'm small I can handle it.  The dude by the window writing his great American novel keeps jabbing me in the ribs with his elbow.  I shift to the other side of my seat to avoid further invasion.  Question, as the middle person are both elbow rests mine?  Regardless, the girl sitting on the other side of me, clearly into Twilight and loved Edward more than life itself is immersed in her iPad and watching with great attention.  Sometime during the short flight we get sleepy.  I wake up to her head snuggled into my arm, i can't feel my hand, her head is huge.  Moments after waking up, she snuggles harder, and puts her hand on my thigh.  At this point, I poke her head, the same way you would pop a bubble.  She woke up, and I told her that she could lean her seat back and rest her head on the space created by my seat and the reclined seat.  I also gave her the armrest.  She got up and used the bathroom.  She came back 10 shades of red.  Awkward silence.

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