31 May 2012

Memorial Day Weekend Rundown

My luck is rotten.  The most random things happen to me.  The three occasions where I was in the company of friend that witnessed these random happenings swear it's just because it's me, I still dont' know what that means.

Part I:  The Tazer
I was in PA recruiting while the big guy was in Chicago.  We split up often to see more athletes and cover more ground.  Across the street from my hotel, I was gassing up my car.  My receipt didn't print and I walked in quick to retrieve it.  I came back out and there a random woman blocking entry into my vehicle.  I asked her what she was doing, then this wall of vodka and smoke hit me in the face like a 2x4.  SHe said that my car was her car.  I said she was mistaken.  Her reply, "Oh really, prove it, what is your license plate?"  Great, I can only reply with the first three letters of the plate.  I asked if I could call her a cab, she pulled out a tazer and started waving it at me.  She was making it crackle and light up.  At that moment, I was thinking, college employee gets into a fight or college employee carjacked.  I decided neither choice was optimal considering all the press our school has gotten this past year, so I tried to outsmart/outrun her.

At this time I think people in the store were amused by this woman because they did nothing to stop or encourage her.  I walked towards my car and pointed, "Look, cops" she fell for it literally stumbling into me with the tazer going, but the batteries or something must have bit it, because all I felt was a tickle.  I got in a drove away.  Not sure what became of the tazer lady, but I was glad to be rid of her.

Part II:  The Accidental Creep
Part of my job as a coach is to watch kids play and take notes about their abilities.  Occasionally I use my phone to look up schedules and roster information so I can find out more about an athlete that piques my interest.  I often watch from the endline as I take notes and chat with colleagues doing the same.  Speaking of smartphones, kids like to take pictures of themselves making funny faces and whatnot.  Many times they find out after the fact that someone has inadvertently entered their frame.

Enter the goofy coach in her maroon polo taking notes.  As these kids giggle about the cool pics they have and faces they are making the girl that owns the phone holds up the phone and zooms in on one particular shot of her and her pal, who's mug appears, bright and clear?

Me:  "Uh, sorry about that."
Her:  "No, it's funny, my friends are all having a laugh."
Me:  "So we are going to delete that one, right?"
Her:  "Yes, I'll delete it right away."

What probably happened, she threw that sucker on Instagram the moment I walked away to watch a different court.  It's a good thing I don't have my college logo on everything I wear recruiting or else the Greater Pittsburgh area would be having a laugh at my expense.  I guess I don't see how that's different from any other day.

Part III:  Gopher and Karma
As you know one of my jobs involves working for a courier.  On this special day I had the good fortune of really nice weather.  Made it to my destination without incident, I drove through a town called, Pillow.  What could possibly happen?  On my way home, I came close to hitting a deer.  The deer looked at my car, and across the road.  It made a run for it, but slipped in the rumble strip on the other side of the highway.  I chuckled.

An exit or two later I spotted a woodchuck debating whether it should cross or not.  I changed lanes.  The creature froze.  There were vehicles behind and next to me.  I drove over the little guy hoping he would stay still, nope road pizza.

Karma paid me a visit later that night as I washed dishes in my spiffy pink rubber gloves.  It's a little warm with the hot water and all so naturally my hands are bit sweaty.  As I'm finishing up and trying to take these dishwashing gloves off.  After some finesse, I manage to remove the first glove.  Now I have a free hand from which to pull the second glove off.  Doesn't that glove slap me across the face as I yank on it with all my might.  I'm still trying to decide if it was laughing at the deer or crushing the poor woodchuck.

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